 |
|
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF |
06/20/2010
Subject: Gaming
Title: Demon's Souls
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHA
HRGHAHGHAHAHBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHAHBGHABGHABGHBRRRRRRABABRH
BGHBAHBRHABGHBAHBREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABHBSRHBAHRBAHRRRRRREBAAAAAAAAAAAAAABAHWBAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!!!!!!111one
*Usually Dead takes a deep breath.
GRAAANBRBANABRNAMBRNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABRBRANRBABRABANABRNAB? GRAAA~! BNTBRBRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGRAAAAAANGBABGBGNABRBGNGBABRBAN BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBABRTYAGGGGGRARRRRRRRRRRRRGRABGBGBARBBBBBBBBBBBBB
BBANBBRABGBABRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGRABRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNRBABRRRRRRRANABABFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. BRABRNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANRRRRRRRBABNRB, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGBABRBGAGGGRRA:
|
|
|
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF |
*Usually Dead takes another deep breath.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY GOD DAMN YOU WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY NO THIS ISN'T HAPPENING, THERE'S NO REASON FOR ME TO GO ON, WHAT, WHAT AM I PLAYING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAUGHAUOR?
*Usually Dead passes out from asphyxiation due to excessive screaming.
*Three hours pass.
*Usually Dead awakens, groggy and depressed.
Oh. Oh dear sweet god.
There are many times in life when we look back on the things we've done and ask, "Why the fuck did I do that?!"
Rarer, but much more problematic, are the times when we look at what we're doing right now and ask, "Why the fuck am I doing this?!" and yet continue doing it.
Several months ago, on the recommendation of two online friends, I rented from Gamefly Demon's Souls, an action-RPG hack'n'slasher. After trying (and failing) to play it for about six hours, I shipped the game back and uploaded to YouTube a strongly-worded audio review of the game. A quick summary of this review: "Demon's Souls sucks. Not only is it too hard, but it disrespects the player's time."
So one might question my sanity to learn that, just last Wednesday, I went to my local game store and bought a copy of Demon's Souls. I now own the game. The BluRay case is up on my software shelf, and its hideous, blasphemous, heart-destroying disc is in my PS3 as I type this.
So, what? Why? What madness possessed me to buy a game that I so badly, outspokenly detest? Should I check myself in to the nearest psychiatric clinic for rapid application of straitjacket and confinement to a room with padded walls?
I bought my Nintendo DS Lite about 2 months ago, and I've been hammering on it exclusively for nearly all that time. This is great, in that I've definitely gotten my enjoyment's worth of the console's price, but it's also kind of sad. My most expensive system, the PS3, has been sitting to gather dust for those two months, and I hadn't yet gotten enough enjoyment out of it to justify the huge price tag. I felt the urge to let my DS rest while I played some engaging RPG on my PS3.
There are many RPGs that I've yet to try for my PS3. (The most noteworthy of which is Dragon Age, which will come to me from Gamefly sooner or later). But I didn't want to wait for Gamefly to send me one. I had one day off of work, and I wanted to be playing on my PS3 before it was over. There was one RPG I knew of, and had already played some of it. Perhaps, like a mother who forgets the horrendously painful act of childbirth just long enough to give birth to another kid, I forgot the pain I had suffered at Demon's Souls hands and bought the game.
And you want to know the worst part? I've actually be doing fairly well at Demon's Souls. When I first played through the game, I played as a Knight class, which apparently is the hard way to do everything. Now, with some help of my friends and online resources, I've learned that a beginner would be much better off going with the Royalty class, who starts with a great long-range attack spell, which can one-shot enemies at first and remains useful throughout the game. I've also found several items that give some much-needed advantages. I found the Thief Ring, which makes it easier to move around enemies. I've gotten the Compound Longbow, which is an invaluable sniper weapon. I also got the Adjudicator's Shield, which is a huge shield great for melee combat, and also regenerates health. All very good buffs.
However, when I played the game the first time, I said that "Demon's Souls alienated me before I got to those game-smoothing buffs." Having an easier-starting character probably has kept it from alienating me a second time, but DS is still not without its problems. Playing the game again, I remember now why it pissed me off so badly the first time.
The Big Problem: Inability to save progress.
This is my single biggest gripe with DS, and it always will be. The stages can seem very long, especially the first time you play through them, and the bosses at the end are often punishingly difficult. You will likely die to the boss several times before beating it. There's nothing wrong with this in and of itself, and gamers are willing to try a boss fight several times to experiment with different strategies until successful. But in DS, chances to experiment against bosses are dearly paid for. If you die at a boss, you start the whole stage over again. To earn another chance to experiment against the boss, you must fight your way through hordes of enemies, time your way past environmental hazards, over and over again. And it barely gets easier or quicker each time you go through a stage. Yes, you do learn where everything is and can deal with threats more confidently, but you can never be reckless. DS will kill you if you're anything but cautious every single second, which means that going through these stages becomes an exercise in pure tedium.
This isn't just bad game design. It's offensive. Literally, offensive. It's the game designers coming to me with the assumption that I have no life, that I have nothing to do but make myself a bitch to their excessively hard game. I feel like raising a big fat middle finger to From Software and saying, "You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and all the pixels that make up your game. You think my time is so unimportant? You think I don't have a job to work, a house to clean, a blog to update, friends to hang out with? Shove the DS game disc up your ass until it shatters and slashes open your prostate."
But I haven't answered the original question. If I hate DS so badly, why the hell did I buy the game? And why am I still playing it?
I guess it's easiest to say that, while DS does have some cripplingly bad flaws, there are some fundamentally enjoyable things about it. It's always good fun to run around gothic dungeons, hacking and blasting at groups of zombies and monsters. It's good to raise a character, customize your avatar's growth with your choice of weapons, spells and stat upgrades. But, more importantly than that, DS has something which other games of its genre lack. And, ironically, it comes from the same element that makes me rage at the game so hard.
Last night, I was playing through level 2-1, which is called "Stonefang Tunnel." Its a wander through a medieval industrial complex carved into a mountain. You go through blacksmith workshops and ore mining pits, smelting cauldrons and rickety bridges and catwalks. There's lots of zombified workers to kill, along with some fiery salamander-things that hang on the walls.
As playing DS has taught me, since I was going through this level for the first time, I proceeded with the utmost caution. Every new room I came to, I looked around for all possible threats. Slowly but steadily I advanced, until finally I came to a long, narrow tunnel which ended in the level's boss, the Armor Spider.
Just like its name implies, the boss was an enormous arachnid like every black-and-white monster B-movie you've ever seen. Except this boss was considerably scarier. Not only did it chuck huge fireballs at me, and try to slow me down with projectile webbing, but the mere threat of it was the most terrifying thing. I had spent about an hour, maybe more, creeping through this dungeon, and I hadn't died once! I was quite proud of that, getting through a DS level without dying on my first try. But this huge spider boss threatened to end all that. I could just see it. The boss would pull some dickish move that would murder me, and I would be sent back to the Nexus, doomed to redo the whole level for another chance at the spider. It would hardly matter by that point, since I would have chewed up my PS3 controller in frustration.
I played defensively against the boss. I had my shield up, I dodged the projectiles, and made heavy use of healing herbs. I hung back and attacked with my long-range magic spell, praying to God Almighty that this horrifying spider-thing wouldn't negate my progress up to that point. It was long, grueling, painful and nerve-wracking.
When the end came, it was almost a surprise. I got close enough to hit it with my attack spell, and suddenly noticed that the boss's health bar was empty. The Armor Spider collapsed in a blaze of deathly glory, leaving me with a checkpoint and a bunch of souls to spend. I sat staring at the game, stunned.
Dear Christ in heaven. I had actually done it! I had beaten a DS level and its boss in entirety on my first try!
I can't even describe how good that felt. Yes, the boss was hard. Yes, the level was a long, slow practice in excessive carefulness. And, in retrospect, I realize that the level and boss weren't nearly as hard as the worst things that DS has to offer. But that didn't matter at the time. I had done something unprecedented. I had overcome the game's challenge in spite of its unfair level of difficulty.
This is a prime example of the value of gaming challenge. It's hard, which makes overcoming it all the more rewarding. Such is the lure and fun of Demon's Souls. Such is the element of the game that, while potentially leading to much frustration and many ragequits, can also be a source of enormous self-gratification.
So, maybe that's the reason I've gotten so angry at From Software. Maybe that's why I so deeply resent the thought of DS making me its bitch.
Maybe because that's exactly what it's done.